general


If you’ve visited this page recently you could be forgiven for thinking that I’ve completely given up posting! For myself, I’m quite horrified to discover that it’s over four years since I last posted here.

Well, I don’t think I’ve given up. I think I’ve taken rather a long break, and that I’d like to get going again.

There have been various reasons for lying dormant for so long. Maybe I’ll write about them and maybe I won’t. But for now, I’d like to give just a little sign of life by posting this. And if you’d like to get back in touch, please feel free to say hello.

In the meantime, here’s a photo of me in some warm comfortable leather . . .

close-up of leather pouch

Warm, comfortable and supple

Comments are what blog writers love. (Well, positive ones are, at least.) But people seem to worry about whether it’s OK to leave a comment; and others worry about privacy issues. So I thought I should say something about it.

In the case of this blog, the comment form includes boxes for an email address and a web link. These are however both optional, so you can be as anonymous if you want (with the exception that your IP address gets recorded).

Here’s what happens if you leave a comment:

For all comments

  • your IP address gets recorded and I can view it, but that’s pretty much all I can do. I don’t have any practical way of turning it into useful information such as what country you’re from. On the other hand, if lots of spam comments all arrive from the same IP address, I might block it in order to stop them. Or if I’m really curious as to whether two anonymous comments are from the same person, I might look to see whether the IP addresses match.

If you fill in an email address

  • I get to know your email address, but it isn’t published anywhere
  • the system will recognise you next time you leave a comment, meaning that if I approved the first one, the next one will go through automatically.

If you fill in a URL

  • when the comment is published, your name will link to the URL you gave. So people can click it to find out more about you, visit your blog or whatever.

If you’re a WordPress user, and logged in

  • details I get to see will depend on what settings you’ve made under (I think) My Profile and Personal Settings. If you have more than one account, check you’re logged in with the right one.

I’m tired, and it’s late. So this may not be the most polished of posts.

It’s a long time since I last posted. Too long; I started this blog as part of a freeing exploration of the erotic and sensual side of myself (OK, imagine me sensually exploring you too if you must . . . ) and I was indeed finding it a liberating experience: expressing my true self in areas that often remain hidden. Getting into conversation with some amazing people. Being free to talk intelligently and sensitively about sensuality and eroticism . . . being free from having to choose between talking sexually and talking intelligently. Bringing together the part of me that wants to think and reflect, and the part that wants to give pleasure to every inch of someone’s body . . . letting myself be my whole self.

What happened?

It wouldn’t be right to go into a lot of detail, so I’ll just say that one or two things happened in my life which knocked that exploration off course somewhat. And that it was more difficult than I expected to get back on track.

Well, I’m feeling my way back again. (And talking of feeling, I like the warmth of your skin under my fingers . . . Hang on, that’s not the kind of feeling I meant . . . I do though, and if I just kiss here and here and here and gently . . . Look you’re distracting me, that’s not what I . . . Oh gosh yes do that some more . . . Mmmm . . . Damn I really can’t concentrate . . . )

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yes. I was exploring, and being sidetracked, and feeling my way, and being sleepy. Too sleepy to write as thoughtfully as I’d like to. Too sleepy to satisfy my own perfectionism. Sleepily running my hands over your . . .

I value this blog, and I value what writing it gives me, even though I’ve been absent for a while. Today, I especially value those friends who have noticed my absence and asked me about it. I really appreciate that. It feels good. I hope to post more regularly again. I hope you’ll enjoy what I write, whatever I explore. And I hope that despite my sleepiness now, this will all seem coherent when I read it again in the morning.

Time to sleep. And dream . . .

I’ve edited it. It now says a little about me. Just a little.

What is this blog for? Now that I come to write about it, that seems a harder question to answer than I expected. But I’m not sure whether that’s because I have a cold at the moment and my mind isn’t working very well, or because of any real difficulty in the question.

I do know how I came to create it, though. For various reasons I want a place where I can  explore a little and reflect on things to do with sexuality. It’s a very personal exploration.

I’ve been fortunate to meet people online with whom I can discuss these things. I have also been unfortunate to meet other people, who have no concept of the sensitivity and mutual respect needed. Unfortunately, both types of person tend to turn up on the same sites at the same time. So what could be places for friendly, sometimes sexy discussion become places where the real stuff can’t be discussed for fear of attack, ridicule etc.

This is exceptionally frustrating. Why should a few people who don’t know how to behave undermine the positive interaction? And anyway it’s my exploration.

So it seemed a good idea to try to create the kind of space I need myself. And I’m still deciding what sort of thing to post and how best to set it up. At the moment it’s publicly viewable, but hidden from search engines, which should mean that only people who know the address find it. My main options seem to be:

  • Make the blog private. Only people I invite can see it, and they all have to sign up for WordPress usernames.
  • Keep the blog public but password-protect some or all posts. This means  that only people I give the password for a particular post can see it or comment on it.
  • Make the whole thing public. I can’t imagine myself doing this!

My brain really isn’t working, so for now I’ll just post this and let one or two people know the blog exists.